A STORY ABOUT MY HONDA

Many years ago I had the misfortune to own a Honda Odyssey. I called it “The Fridge” on account of its boxy white ugliness.

After owning it for a while it started to develop an intermittent transmission problem where it wouldn’t go into Drive. Usually I would sit there, with my 5 year old son in the back ready for school, and repeatedly put the transmission into Park, then Drive. After a few attempts it would happily go into Drive and we’d be on our way.

Until the day came when no matter how many times I tried, it simply refused to play along.

I had no choice - I had about 15 minutes to get my son to school and only reverse gear available to me. So, off I went, in reverse.

Now, before I continue, I have to say a couple of things in my defence: At the time I lived in a quiet suburban area, with little in the way of rush hour traffic. I didn’t feel that guilty having to drive in reverse for the 3 odd miles it took to get to school. Secondly, I was flat broke, having given my last money to my lawyers to fight for the custody of my son (messy divorce, another story). I didn’t have any money for a replacement car, or even to repair The Fridge.

It was actually quite easy. I had spent my first two years in the workforce reversing Volkswagens across the sales yard at a main dealership, so reversing was second nature to me. Plus, I kept my speed down to a reasonable level.

So… guess what happened when I got in the Fridge to collect my son from school that day? That’s right… another 3 mile reverse across suburbia… and 3 miles back.

The next morning I had to do the same thing again. This time though, after dropping my son off to school I decided to head to the transmission shop to get a quote to have it repaired. It was hysterical seeing the reaction of other road users as I was sat at the traffic lights facing the wrong way. Some motorists were bewildered, some amused and others were downright angry and hostile, waving angrily at me and shaking their fists. I decided to make the most of it and give everyone a cheery wave and a big smile - which on reflection made matters worse for those upset at my antics.

The repair shop gave me a quote of considerably more than the car was worth, so for the time being at least, The Fridge became Backwards Fridge.

This went on for the next week. As I said previously, I had no choice…

By the middle of the following week I had amassed around 100 miles in reverse, with no ill effect to either the car or myself. I had had a couple of close calls with abusive motorists who had taken a dim view of my antics, but by and large it had been a success.

Then, one morning on the second week of driving backwards, I was pulled over by the police, who rightly asked what the hell was I driving in reverse for. Like a good citizen I was very polite and explained my situation. He stared at me in amazement before retiring to his squad car to write me a ticket.

Several minutes later he emerged from his vehicle with a bewildered half smile on his face:

“You know sir, I have had a look through all the traffic laws and I can’t find a way to punish you for driving in reverse. It doesn’t look like it’s against the law! So… you take extra care, and get that transmission fixed!”

A few days later a friend lent me their car so I stopped driving Backwards Fridge. By this time, I had amassed well over 250 miles, with no (further) ill effect on the transmission. The first time I drove it (the right way round!), it felt totally alien - I had gotten totally used to driving in reverse.

Don’t try this at home…. your local laws may be different to mine.

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